A post is going viral and sparking a heated debate within the Indian diaspora.
The post revolves around the idea of Indian women exercising free will in relationships — dating European men for excitement and experience in their twenties, but ultimately choosing to marry Indian men for stability, loyalty, and financial support.
The message is written from the perspective of a woman advising other Indian women, especially those studying or working abroad.
The post reads: “Relationships with European men can be very exciting (because they're so good looking, tall, and charming), but also unstable and uncertain. They are always a challenge to maintain long term.
"European men are also very averse to financially supporting you because everything is 50:50 here. The reason being, when a man is attractive, he wants equality in everything, and won't chase you nor feel the need to financially support you. There's always a challenge to keep him interested because they have options too.
"I always suggest Indian girls who come here to study or work to date European men for the thrill and experience in their 20s. It opens up a new dimension. It increases your confidence because you suddenly feel desirable and proud in your ability to attract such good-looking and tall men you could only dream about in India.
"But in the end, it’s better to marry a stable, loyal, supportive Indian man after having your fun. Indian men here don't have options in the dating world; their only option is usually marriage, so they stay loyal and supportive, and are also willing to support you financially by being the primary breadwinner.
"They will pursue you and do everything you say. If you want marriage upfront, they will agree easily rather than dating for years like European men do. Sure, they are not as desirable as European men, you won't feel the same physical chemistry with them, but you have gotten it out of your system and have beautiful intimate memories with them you can live with and not feel you missed out on anything. Just some advice from a sister.”
While the identity of the person behind the post remains anonymous, the opinions expressed have triggered a storm of responses across social media.
Some users have strongly condemned the thought process, accusing it of promoting a shallow and transactional approach to relationships.
Critics argue that encouraging women to date foreign men for looks and thrill, only to treat Indian men as dependable marriage partners, is both exploitative and unfair.
Phrases like “Should Indian men marry second-hand girls?” have emerged from those who see the advice as disrespectful and demeaning.
On the other side, some progressive voices have defended the idea of female agency and questioned the hypocrisy in judging women for behaviors often normalized among men.
One man commented, “We men tend to do the same thing—date freely in our youth and settle down when ready. Why can’t girls have that same freedom? As long as my partner didn’t have an Indian boyfriend before me, but had some experiences with Europeans, I’m okay with it.”
Others have taken a more traditional stance, arguing that virginity or sexual exclusivity still holds value in relationships and that both men and women should ideally wait until marriage.
According to this viewpoint, neither gender should be encouraged to treat dating as a temporary thrill while saving commitment for later.
The post has become a lightning rod for conversations about modern relationships, gender roles, cultural double standards, and the evolving values of Indians abroad.
With emotions running high, the debate shows no signs of settling soon.
